Marriage Counseling
by Midnight-in-Russia
Summary: The Fuhrer has had enough of Roy and Ed's fighting. It's time to take a course of action! What does he have up his sleeve? Eventual RoyEd. WiP. Not sure of the rating, so I'm putting "T" for now. Probably won't be updated very regularly.
1. Chapter 1

The last time the Fuhrer had visited Central, Colonel Mustang and Major Edward Elric were causing a commotion at Central HeadQuarters. Of course, the Colonel was unaware of the Fuhrer's presence, so he taunted his subordinate like he usually would.

Fuhrer Bradley had watched as Mustang called Edward a number of names, so the blonde alchemist had screamed his lungs out and jumped on the man. The Fuhrer was displeased, to say the least. He warned them to be on their best behavior and set a good example for their subordinates. They had promised to behave.

Now, a little over a year later, Fuhrer Bradley was roaming the corridors of Central with two bodyguards behind him. He heard a ruckus coming from the Mess Hall. Sighing, he rounded a corner and pushed the double doors open, revealing Major Elric holding his transmuted Auto-Mail blade to the Colonel's throat. Said Colonel, however, was unfazed and poised to snap his fingers if his subordinate dared to inch closer. They continued their banter until the Fuhrer decided that enough was enough.

"Colonel Mustang and Major Elric!" He barked, drawing their attention. Ed's jaw dropped as he lowered his arm, while Roy immediately straightened himself up and saluted his superior.

"Escort me to your office, Colonel," the Fuhrer ordered, glaring at the pair with his only eye.

"Right away, sir," Mustang responded, leading the way.

"Come along, Major," Bradley said, looking at Ed, who gulped.

Outside of the office door they stood. Mustang opened the door and walked inside; Ed followed. The Fuhrer motioned for his bodyguards to keep watch as he closed the door behind him. He made his way behind Mustang's desk and studied the two alchemists for a moment before dropping into the black, leather chair.

"Now, my memory isn't what it used to be, but I do believe you two promised to stop fighting. Am I right?" He gazed at them.

"Yes, sir," they said in unison.

"Ah, alright. Forgive me if I got the wrong idea, but it seemed like you two were in the middle of a fight, correct?" His voice was stern.

"Yes, sir," echoed around the room.

"Well, the reason you were fighting is none of my concern, but we have a problem on our hands, gentlemen," the Fuhrer explained, clasping his hands together on top of the wooden desk.

The pair waited for him to continue.

"The way I see it, we can settle this one of two ways. The first, we could transfer you, Major Elric, to another unit - "

Ed let out a gasp. _**'He can't do that! Mustang is the only military officer willing to give me leads on the Philosopher's Stone! No!'**_ Ed thought as the color drained from his face.

" - but we would, no doubt, have another problem on our hands then. I'm pretty sure that, for whatever reason, Colonel Mustang is the only one who can keep you in line...to an extent," King Bradley sighed, twiddling his thumbs together.

The duo impatiently waited for their second option. Even if the Colonel would never admit it, he wanted Ed under his command so he could keep an eye on him. He cared about the kid...well...the seventeen- - almost eighteen - year-old. _**'Damn.... Is the kid really almost eighteen already?'**_ Roy pondered.

"Your second option...I don't think you'll like very much, but I see it as the only other alternative. You see, my wife and I were having problems with our marriage over the years, so a friend of mine recommended us to a marriage counselor - "

They both sucked in a breath. _**'Oh no....'**_ they thought, simultaneously.

" - and before we knew it, we were happier as when we first got together! So, with that said, I think that our funds can take care of a few months of counseling, don't you?" The Fuhrer smiled.

"I'm not sure, sir. Isn't it costly?" Mustang asked.

"It shouldn't cost more than repairing the damage you two cause this building every other week," the older man gave them both a stern look before smiling once more.

"So, how about it? It would sure save you a lot of paperwork, Colonel. I'm sure she won't treat you like an actual _married_ couple...." the Fuhrer trailed off, although he was fairly sure that the counselor _would_ treat them like a married couple. He shrugged internally, while the two alchemists glared at each other.

"Good. It's settled, then. I'll call her shortly. I will be kept informed of your progress, gentlemen, so don't think you can ditch these counseling sessions," the Fuhrer stood up, still smiling. It irked Ed to think that he could be _smiling_ at a time like _this_. Still, the pair saluted the Fuhrer as he left the room.

After a moment or two, Ed walked over to Mustang's desk and gave it a swift kick, as if it had done him wrong. Roy sighed. There was no way they were getting out of this. He glanced at his subordinate, who had flopped down on one of the leather couches. This was going to be one long, wild ride. And not the good kind.


	2. Chapter 2

Saturday morning, Ed and Roy found themselves sitting in the cozy office of Mrs. Bella Gordon, their marriage counselor. She was an older woman, whose grey hair was pulled back into a tight bun. She had square spectacles and a somewhat stern face. The woman was nearly as tall as the Colonel. She peered at them, over her glasses, with a slight frown on her face.

She bustled over to her desk and pulled out a few manila folders. She walked over to the coffee table in front of the couch and dropped the folders on top of it. Roy and Ed looked at the folders first and then at each other.

"I'm sure you're aware that I'm a _marriage_ counselor, so we will have to omit a few exercises from my program, but I still have plenty of other things for you to do," Mrs. Gordon stated, pulling out a few "worksheets" from a folder.

"To have a successful relationship - whether it be marriage or professional - you have to know how to communicate properly. In order to do that, you have to get to know the person to an extent. That's my job. You're here to work on your professional relationship. The Fuhrer tells me your problems are far worse than any he has ever seen. This calls for drastic measures, gentlemen," she smiled, evilly.

Roy and Ed gulped.

"Fill out these papers. At the end of ten minutes, we'll see where we need to begin."

They each grabbed a paper and set to work.

HOW DO I FEEL WHEN...:

1. You surprise me with something nice?

2. You show me that you appreciate me?

3. I make a mistake and you point it out?

4. You are holding me in your arms?

Ed raised an eyebrow.

5. You praise or compliment me?

6. I think that you are judging me?

7. You make a sacrifice for me?

8. Others notice our closeness?

Roy suppressed a chuckle.

9. I am reminded that you really love me?

Both men nearly gagged.

10. You seem annoyed with me?

11. We are holding hands?

12. I am buying you a gift?

13. I don't seem able to reach you?

14. You frown at me?

15. You are being too hard on yourself?

16. You smile at me?

17. You reach out to touch me?

18. You interrupt me in conversation?

19. I think I have hurt your feelings?

20. You are upset and begin to cry?

21. You are sick or in pain?

22. You ask me to help you?

23. You become very angry with me?

24. I can't understand what it is you are asking me to do?

25. You tell me you are very proud of me?

After ten minutes of writing, Mrs. Gordon called "time's up" and came over to inspect their work. Her eyebrows shot up as she read through the answers, but she handed them their own papers back.

"Now I would like you to read them aloud," she stated. Both jaws dropped.

"No!" They chorused.

"Yes. Or would you rather me report to the Fuhrer and have him - " she was interrupted by Roy.

"Er - That won't be necessary, ma'am. I'll go first!" He said, hastily, turning his body toward Ed. He kept his eyes trained on the paper.

"Question one. I don't think you have ever surprised me with "something nice"," Roy answered.

"Alright. Now it's your turn, Edward," Mrs. Gordon frowned.

"I basically put the same thing," Ed stated.

"Question two," Roy pressed on, "when you show me that you appreciate me, I feel that...what I did for you was worth it...." Roy's cheeks reddened, but his eyes never lifted from the paper.

"I put that I don't think you've ever shown me that you appreciated me," Ed grimaced, wishing he had put something a little more sensitive.

"Question three. When you point out my mistakes, I feel extremely foolish, because I think about the fact that a _seventeen_-_year_-_old_ is pointing them out," Roy's cheeks became even redder, if possible. Ed wanted to laugh, but he resisted the urge...barely.

"When you point out my mistakes, I want to kick your fucking teeth out of your head and strangle you," Ed said, quite calmly. Mrs. Gordon gave him a reproachful look. Strangely enough, Mustang found that he wanted to laugh at Ed's answer. It was so typical of Ed.

"Question four. If you ever held me in your arms, I think I would set you on fire," Roy read from his paper. Ed snickered loudly.

"Same goes to you, Colonel Bastard," he replied.

"Edward! Please refrain from using such profane language in my office," Mrs. Gordon glared at him over her spectacles. She sat down at her desk and listened.

"Question five. I don't think you've ever complimented me," Roy said, smirking at Ed.

"Yeah, well, you haven't exactly been showering me with praise either, Ba - er..._Colonel_," the blonde retorted.

"Okay, I think that's enough question and answer. What I want you to do now is give me your papers," Mrs. Gordon sighed, rubbing her temples. _**'What a hassle these two are.... It'll be a miracle if I ever get them speak civilly to each other,'**_ she thought as she grabbed the papers.

"Now, I would like you to stand up and face each other," she ordered. They complied. Ed cringed at the obvious height difference. He only came up to Roy's chin.

"I would like both of you to think of something that will raise the other's self-esteem, and say it out loud."

They glared at each other in mutual dislike. The old woman sighed.

"Roy, you go first," she demanded.

Roy looked at Ed for something to say.

"Edward...." He paused, still searching for something to say. Ed smirked and raised an eyebrow.


	3. Not an Actual Chapter Extra

**This is for batdiva101. Here are Roy and Ed's answers for the marriage counseling questions. The ones they did and DIDN'T share. Enjoy!**

HOW DO I FEEL WHEN...:

1. You surprise me with something nice?

Roy: I don't think he has never surprised me with "something nice".

Ed: He has never surprised me with "something nice".

2. You show me that you appreciate me?

Roy: When he shows me that he appreciates me, I feel that what I did was worth it.

Ed: I don't think he's ever shown me that he appreciates me.

3. I make a mistake and you point it out?

Roy: When he points out my mistakes, I feel extremely foolish, because I think about the fact that a seventeen-year-old is pointing them out.

Ed: When he points out my mistakes, I want to kick his fucking teeth out of his head and strangle him.

4. You are holding me in your arms?

Roy: If he ever held me in his arms, I think I would set him on fire.

Ed: If he ever even TRIED to hold me in his arms, I think I'd castrate him.

5. You praise or compliment me?

Roy: I don't think he's ever complimented me.

Ed: He's never complimented me.

6. I think that you are judging me?

Roy: He's always judging me.

Ed: He's always judging me.

7. You make a sacrifice for me?

Roy: When did he make a sacrifice for me? Oh. That's right. He didn't.

Ed: I can't say he's never made a sacrifice for me. I feel...grateful.

8. Others notice our closeness?

Roy: There is no closeness.

Ed: Closeness? There is no closeness.

9. I am reminded that you really love me?

Roy: We don't love each other.

Ed: Isn't that kind of queer?

10. You seem annoyed with me?

Roy: I feel satisfaction when he's annoyed with me.

Ed: I want to punch his fucking smirking face and hang him upside-down by his big toes and dunk his head in milk and tell him to stop being such a little bitch just because I blew up a building!

11. We are holding hands?

Roy: We don't.

Ed: Ew.

12. I am buying you a gift?

Roy: Edward? Buy me a gift? Like that would ever happen.

Ed: If he ever bought me a gift, I'd check to see if it's some kind of bomb, first, and if it's not, I'd blow it up. In front of him.

13. I don't seem able to reach you?

Roy: He's never able to reach me. He's too short.

Ed: If I can't get in touch with the bastard, then I'm happy for the rest of the day.

14. You frown at me?

Roy: He always frowns.

Ed: That's when I know to run for cover.

15. You are being too hard on yourself?

Roy: He's always too hard on himself.

Ed: He should be hard on himself. All he does is sit around at a desk all day and makes me do all his dirty work.

16. You smile at me?

Roy: That's only happened once. But he _does_ have a nice smile. It makes me happy.

Ed: I've never seen him smile. I'd be a bit creeped out if he _did_ smile at me.

17. You reach out to touch me?

Roy: I back away immediately. If he's reaching out to me, he's probably aiming to hurt me.

Ed: I want to kick him in the face.

18. You interrupt me in conversation?

Roy: He does that all the time. It's very annoying.

Ed: I'd kick him in the face.

19. I think I have hurt your feelings?

Roy: I try not to hurt his feelings.

Ed: I don't _think_ I've ever hurt his feelings....

20. You are upset and begin to cry?

Roy: I try my best to comfort him.

Ed: I've never seen him cry. If he did cry...I think I'd run away.

21. You are sick or in pain?

Roy: I'd tell him to go to a hospital.

Ed: I'd do my best to make sure he didn't die, or I'd probably be framed for his death.

22. You ask me to help you?

Roy: Since when does he ever ask for help?

Ed: I want to punch him and tell him to do his own damn work.

23. You become very angry with me?

Roy: I'm used to it.

Ed: I'm used to it.

24. I can't understand what it is you are asking me to do?

Roy: ?

Ed: ?

25. You tell me you are very proud of me?

Roy: He's never told me that.

Ed: He's never told me that.... Bastard.


	4. Chapter 3

"Edward, I think...that you're a determined, goal-oriented, intelligent young man, even if you are _short_-tempered," Roy smirked.

Ed gritted his teeth and glared at him.

"Good. Now your turn, Edward," Mrs. Gordon smiled approvingly.

"Colonel - "

"I would like for you to use his first name, Edward," Mrs. Gordon interrupted.

"_Roy_," Ed ground out, trying to keep the venom out of his voice. He was failing miserably.

"I...." What was there to say about Roy? There was _so_ many different words to describe him. _**'Womanizer, infuriating, bastard, sexy, paperwork-avoiding - wait. SEXY?!'**_ Ed looked, _really looked_, at the man in front of him. _**'Damn. He **_**is**_** sexy....'**_

"Er...." Ed tugged at his sleeves and looked at his feet.

"Look up at Roy, Edward," Mrs. Gordon ordered. Ed complied, albeit grudgingly.

Roy looked at his subordinate - _was he blushing?_ - and smirked.

Ed said something that neither of them understood. It sounded like "mmphygargelshnarfensky."

"What?" Roy asked, but Mrs. Gordon understood what he had said.

"I said - oh, hell, just forget it!" Ed snapped, startling both Mrs. Gordon and the Colonel.

"Edward, you _will_ repeat what you said. I heard it. Now, say it," Mrs. Gordon ordered.

"No! I was just kidding - "

"No, you weren't. Say it," she repeated with a stern look that could have given Hawkeye a run for her money.

"I said...that I think you're...good-looking...." Ed mumbled, blushing as he met Roy's shocked gaze.

"You...do?" Roy managed to choke out.

"For the love of - _yes_, you idiot!" Ed retorted, biting his tongue to keep from saying anything else.

Silence.

The old woman cleared her throat louder than was necessary.

"Ahem.... Er...very good. Excellent," her face was a bit flushed as she bustled about, grabbing folders off of her desk and nearby tables.

Neither Roy nor Ed met the other's eyes. Instead, they both opted to stare at the ground. Ed was mildly insulted that Roy hadn't mentioned anything about his physical appearance. He already knew that he was smart and determined. He was more than a little self concious about his body.

Roy was more than a little insulted that Ed had only mentioned his looks. He already knew that he was a good-looking man, but he had really wanted to hear that Ed thought he was intelligent or even caring. It boosted his ego (not that it needed boosting) to know that Ed thought he was handsome, but he wished the blonde had said something else instead.

"I have another exercise for the both of you," Mrs. Gordon interrupted their trains of thoughts.

"This is to help you get to know each other better," the elderly woman motioned for them to sit down on the couch, which they did.

"I will ask a question and each of you will answer. Please throw in whatever comments you have, _unless_ _they're inappropriate_," she emphasized the last part.

Mrs. Gordon sat down in a chair opposite the couch and looked down at a sheet of paper with writing on it.

"This exercise will help you get to know each other on a whole new level. You'll find out things you may never have known about your partner," she read aloud.

"Roy, please share with Edward a little known fact about yourself. It can be favorite hobby or something along those lines."

Roy sat there for a moment, thinking. There were countless things Ed probably didn't know about him. He could lie if he wanted to, but he wouldn't. For whatever reason, he _wanted_ Ed to get to know him - the real him.

"Well.... I like to take long walks in the park in the evening," Roy admitted, his cheeks only barely tinted with pink.

Mrs. Gordon nodded her approval.

"Edward, please share with Roy a little known fact about yourself."

"Umm...." Ed wracked his brain, trying to come up with something on the spot. He decided that there was almost nothing special he liked to do.

"I.... I like to curl up with a good book before I go to sleep," Ed sighed mentally. He felt extremely lame for going to this stupid marriage counseling session. He could never see Roy and him getting along.

"Good. See? That wasn't so hard," she clucked her tongue.

"Roy, if you had a whole free day to yourself, how would you spend it?" She asked, looking up at him, expectantly.

"I..." Roy faltered. He couldn't remember the last day he had had off.

"Alright, Ed, help him out. Tell us what _you_ would do."

"Er.... I'd spend it in the library," Ed crossed one of his legs over the other, leaning back against the couch.

"I think I would read a book or something," Roy gave a nonchalant wave of his hand. He had no flippin' idea what he would do, truth be told.

"Name an animal that you feel best describes your partner," Mrs. Gordon demanded.

"I think Ed would be a...fox," Roy nodded his head, as if reassuring himself. Ed gave him a confused look.

"Why the fuck would I be a fox?" The blonde demanded to know.

"Well, they're clever and fast and c--" Roy stopped himself before he could finish that sentence. That was a close one. He played it off as a cough.

"Well, I think you would be aaaa...cat," Ed replied.

"A cat?"

"Yes, a cat."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because...?" Roy trailed off.

"Just because," Ed retorted, waving his hand.

"What do you mean _just because_?"

"I mean just that! Just. Because."

Mrs. Gordon shook her head. She was way in over her head.

**(A/N: I apologize for this crappy chapter. I'm very sick at the moment. I don't know if I'll be updating anything else for a day or two. I'm kind of braindead. I'll probably re-do this chapter later on. I just felt obligated to put something up. Review?)**


	5. Chapter 4

"Now then," Mrs. Gordon interrupted their conversation, smiling a bit. They hadn't even realized that they'd been talking for a little over twenty minutes without arguing.

"I'm afraid our meeting has come to an end, BUT!" She raised her voice, seeing the delighted look in the alchemists' eyes.

"I have homework for the two of you," she clasped her hands together, "and the assignment includes you two going somewhere together. Whether it be a café, a restaurant, or the park, it doesn't matter."

"Tonight?" Roy asked, eyeing the woman, suspiciously. It was as if she was trying to stop him from going out with women in his spare time. If she expected him to give all of his spare time to Ed, she had something else coming. Sadly, that was exactly what she expected. She was a _marriage_ counselor, after all.

"Either tonight or tomorrow afternoon, because our next meeting is tomorrow night at seven o'clock," she reminded them, walking around her desk to sit in her chair.

"Tomorrow afternoon it is, because I have to go home and make quite a few phone calls," Roy grimaced, thinking of all of the dates he would have to cancel. _'Well,'_ he thought, _'it's not like I can't get more dates later on....'_ Although he had _really_ been wanting to go out with...Shirley, was it? Despite himself, a smile crept up on Roy's face as he thought of the busty blonde woman named Shirley...or Linda. He couldn't decide.

"Yeah, I've gotta go make a call as well," Ed piped up, bringing Roy crashing back to reality.

"Excuse me?" Roy arched a thin eyebrow, expecting an answer.

"What? I had made plans for tomorrow. _Excuse me_ for wanting to have a life," Ed scoffed, sarcastically.

"_You_ were going on a _date_?" Roy smirked, not believing a word he was hearing.

"Ye - _No_! We were _not_ going on a date. Just a little bite to eat and maybe a picture show," Ed explained, blushing, as they walked out of the woman's office, leaving her to her headache.

"Okay, spill it, Full Metal. Who are _you_ going on a _date_ with?" Roy demanded. Oh, this was just too good to pass up.

"It's not a date!" Ed insisted, walking down the sidewalk with his commanding officer.

"Okay, then who were you going to see a picture show with?" Roy tried a different tactic.

"None of your business," Ed growled, harshly, sticking his hands in his pockets.

"Full Metal, I order you to tell me," Roy smirked.

"Like hell I'll tell you! We're not even at work, so don't try to pull ranks on me, _Roy_," Ed emphasized the use of the older man's first name.

"Then tell me as an equal."

"Why does it matter to you?! It's not a big deal!"

"Because I don't believe you're actually going on a date with someone and - "

"FINE!" Ed bellowed, throwing his hands up into the air. "His name is DARRIEN! Are you happy now?!"

Not even waiting for a response, Ed picked up his pace and dashed away, leaving a very shocked Roy standing on the sidewalk.


	6. Chapter 5

The next day, Roy had already cancelled his dates and was waiting for Edward to show up at a local café. A red awning could be found hovering over every window in the front of the building. There were several tables outside, surrounding the building on a patio. Roy had to admit that he rather liked the atmosphere of the place.

"Hey, sorry I'm late. Darrien wouldn't answer his phone, so I had to stop by his place and explain what was going on," Ed said in one breath, doubling over to ease his already labored breathing.

"It's fine," Roy said in a clipped voice. His eyes wandered down to Ed's neck, where it was obvious that a hickey had just been given to the blonde. Roy looked away, not wanting to be caught gawking at his subordinate in such a way. It was no business of his, he decided as they walked inside of the cool café.

"Hello. What can I get you today?" The elderly woman behind the counter asked, her eyes twinkling at the pair of alchemists.

"I'll have a panini sandwich with a side of apple slices," Roy flashed a dazzling smile at the woman. She gave a smile of her own and pulled out two paper plates. She looked at the selection of food in front of her and grabbed what Roy had asked for and gave it to him.

"And you, dear?" She asked Ed, who wasn't really paying attention.

"Oh. Um.... I'll have a...grilled chicken sandwich and chili cheese fries," he pointed to the foods.

"There you are," she said, handing Ed the food over the counter. She moved over to the drink section. Roy and Ed followed.

"What can I get you to drink?"

"Water," they both said, simultaneously.

This only seemed to make the woman's smile widen. She put the drinks on the counter and moved over to the cash register.

"I'll pay, Edward," Roy insisted, pulling out a twenty dollar bill. Ed's eyes widened as he handed the woman the money.

"You can keep the change as a tip, ma'am," the Colonel said in a calm voice.

"Thank you very much! Oh, and I just wanted to say that you two make the cutest couple," she cooed before walking away, leaving a speechless Roy and a blushing Edward.

"Er.... Shall we eat inside or outside?" Roy asked, clearing his throat.

"It's a nice day. Outside?" Ed asked, already eating some of his fries.

"Outside it is," Roy nodded, taking the lead.

Once they were outside, they chose a table with an olive green umbrella standing over a table for two. The café had a very charming atmosphere about it. It was a nice, breezy day outside. The perfect day for a date. And Roy was spending it with his hot-tempered subordinate. He sighed, setting his food down and taking a seat, himself. Ed had long since dug into his food.

"So, Ed. When do you think Fuhrer Bradley is going to let us stop these counseling sessions?" Roy asked, trying to strike up a conversation. Ed wiped his mouth on a napkin and looked his commanding officer in the eyes. Once again though, Roy's obsidian eyes had traveled back down to rest on the hickey on the blonde's neck.

Amber-colored eyes widened as he realized what Roy must be staring at. He clapped his flesh hand to his neck and blushed a spectacular shade of red.

"Have fun _explaining_ things to...Darrien, was it?" Roy asked, smirking and raising an eyebrow.

"Shut up," Ed growled, still blushing.

"So, how long have you two been, ah, _dating_?" The Colonel asked, politely.

"We've only been out on one other date," Ed shrugged, reaching for his sandwich.

Roy made a noise to show that he was listening.

"I'm not gay, if that's what you're wondering," Ed went on, shooting a harsh look in Roy's direction.

"I never said you were," Roy replied, readily.

"Well, good. Because I'm not."

"Alright."

"Really," Ed pressed on.

"I believe you," Roy's eyes wandered to the hickey once again. He didn't like the fact that someone had marked Ed. Someone had _claimed_ him as _theirs_. No, he and this _Darrien_ would be having a problem or two in the future.

"Would you stop staring?!" Ed said, hotly.

"Maybe you shouldn't have let him _mark you_ like that, and I wouldn't _be_ staring."

"You say it like it's my fault," the blonde said bitterly.

"Then whose fault is it? Who let him do that?" Roy realized that the conversation was not headed for a good direction, so he cleared his throat probably louder than what was necessary.

They changed the topic of the conversation and talked for a while as the sun beat down on them, the heat only relieved by the occasional breeze.

Roy figured out that he loved to watch Ed's bangs fly around his face in the wind as he ate his food. Amber eyes watched him, carrying on his part of the conversation, dutifully. The younger alchemist was so breathtaking that Roy literally found himself forgetting to breathe when Ed looked at him with those honey-colored eyes of his.

Eyes were supposedly the gateway to the soul. Roy could see Ed's personality in his eyes. Eyes that shone with intelligence and understanding way beyond the normal level of understanding for someone his age. Eyes that had seen too much. Eyes that showed how audacious the young blonde could be.

"Mustang? Are you even listening to me?" Ed snapped his fingers in front of Roy's face, causing the older man to jump.

"Sorry, Ed. I was just thinking about a few things I have to take care of at the office on Monday," Roy waved it off with a gloved hand. He checked his pocketwatch for the time.

"We'd probably better get going. The next session is in about an hour," Roy sighed, looking back at his subordinate who was already getting up.

"C'mon. We can get some ice cream or something for the trip," Ed said, smiling slightly.

"Alright," Roy nodded in agreement. It was a nice day for some ice cream, after all.


	7. Chapter 6

"Love and anger are two opposite emotions that develop in our reactions to other people, and the more closely we are involved with people, the stronger the emotions will be," Mrs. Gordon read off of her paper, sparing a glance at the two men eating ice cream in front of her.

"I don't think you have any idea how closely the two emotions are related to each other," she rambled on, not noticing that the two men were hardly listening.

"So, I've talked this plan over with the Fuhrer already, and he says that it's a wonderful idea. I'm sending you two on a vacation!" Mrs. Gordon clasped her hands together, grinning from ear to ear.

"_What_?" The pair said, simultaneously.

"The Fuhrer has generously arranged for a two-week vacation for the both of you. Here are the details," she handed each of them a brochure with a tropical paradise on the front cover.

"I - but - my _paperwork_," the Colonel replied, weakly.

"My _research_," Ed said in a feeble voice. Neither man could believe that this was happening.

"Now, now. You've got time for a little break, I think. Especially if it means getting your relationship back on track. This trip is _nothing_ compared to the cost of the damage you two have caused Central in the past," Mrs. Gordon frowned, staring them down over her spectacles which were perched on the end of her nose.

"This trip will help you get to know each other in a whole new way," she went on, happily describing all of the details of the island. She seemed very happy for them, but they knew it was just because she would be getting rid of her most troublesome pair for at least two weeks.

"I'm not going. This is stupid," Ed said, firmly, pushing his brochure back into Mrs. Gordon's hands. Big mistake.

"You _will _go on the Fuhrer's orders!" She screamed, whacking him over the head with her clipboard.

"Ow! You crazy old hag! I have _work_ to do!"

"You'll never get your work done if you two keep fighting the way you have been! Or would you rather be transferred to a new unit, Mr. Elric?" Mrs. Gordon snapped, fussing over her wrinkled clothes.

"No," Ed mumbled, looking down at his feet.

"Then I suggest you two get packing. Your plane leaves in two hours," she handed them each a plane ticket and sent them off, grumbling and cursing, but still following her orders, all the same.

**(A/N: Super short chapter, I know. I'm under a lot of stress. I'll do my best to update soon since this seems to be my most loved story. XD)**


	8. Chapter 7

Five hours and one stressful plane ride later, Ed and Roy were standing in front of a small yet cozy-looking cottage complete with a bird bath in the front yard. A small wooden sign could be seen from a distance. It read _Home Sweet Home_.

"You'd better hope that - for the sake of both our lives - this place has a local library or something," Ed growled, dragging his suitcase along the stone sidewalk.

Roy followed along, lifting his suitcase off of the ground, unlike his rather grumpy subordinate.

The pair walked into the cottage, disappointed when it was just as hot inside as it was outside.

"It's too hot," Ed complained, looking around the place. It was definitely made for only one or two people to live in. The kitchen was tiny with room for barely anything else but the table, refrigerator, and sink.

No doors or walls separated the kitchen from the living room and dining room. The living room had large, grand windows which were opened to reveal a breathtaking view of the beach. Ed took a moment to observe the sight before walking down the narrow hallway to the right. There were only two doors to be found. Ed pushed the first one open to reveal a decent-sized bathroom.

He walked a little farther and came to the last door. He held his breath as he pushed it open, revealing a large bedroom with two queen-sized beds that were side-by-side. This room had a terrific view of the beach as well. The blonde alchemist tossed his suitcase onto the bed nearest the window and put his hands on his hips, inspecting the room with his narrowed eyes.

A minute later, Roy entered the room, observing it with an approving look on his handsome face.

"I like it," he set his suitcase on the floor next to the only other bed.

The two sat in silence for a minute before Ed turned toward the door and walked away.

"I'm gonna go check out the neighborhood. See if they have a library or something," he called out as he walked out of the bedroom. He heard footsteps following close behind him.

"I'll come too. I'd like to see what this place has to offer," Mustang smirked.

Ed got the feeling that Roy was talking about a very _different_ sort of "sight-seeing". The Womanizing Bastard....

They vacated the house and walked down the small steps. Ed brought his Auto-Mail hand up to shield his eyes from the unforgiving sun.

"Remind me to buy some sunglasses while we're out," said the blonde. Roy nodded.

After walking for a while, they decided that the town was beautiful. Sure, it was full of tourists, but that was the only bad thing about it. Ed was ecstatic to find out that it had a library after all. Roy refused to let him spend the rest of the day researching, so he followed his commanding officer grudgingly. This was going to be the longest two weeks of his life.


	9. Chapter 8

Ed woke up the next morning feeling surprisingly refreshed, despite the very few hours he had slept away. He grinned down appreciatively at his bed, petting it gently. If four hours of sleep on this bed was enough to recharge his batteries, he couldn't wait to see how he felt after eight hours of sleep. Deciding that he would go to bed early, he jumped out of bed, stretching his muscles.

He looked at the Colonel's bed only to find it already made and very empty. _Must have had an early start_, Ed thought to himself as he walked out of the room clad in only boxer shorts.

He walked into the kitchen to find Roy sitting at the dining room table, eating a piece of toast, drinking coffee, and reading the newspaper.

"Morning, Full Metal," Roy said without looking up from the paper.

"That's all you're gonna eat?" Ed asked, furrowing his eyebrows at the lonely piece of toast on the plate in front of Roy.

"I'm not very hungry," Roy shrugged, glancing up from his paper. His gaze lingered a bit longer than he had intended due to the fact that Edward was wearing boxers and...well...that was all. He got an eye-full of the teen's abs and well-toned form. Roy cleared his throat and turned his attention back to his paper, wondering when Ed had time on his hands to actually work-out.

"I can...ya know...make something else if you want," Ed leaned his side against the refrigerator, staring at the older alchemist.

"Really? Like what?" Roy sipped his coffee, keeping his eyes trained on the newspaper.

"I dunno," Ed said, truthfully. He turned around and opened the refrigerator door, peering inside.

"Anything edible in there?" Roy asked, sneaking glances at Ed's boxer-clad butt sticking out of the fridge door.

"Eggs, jam, pancake mix, orange juice, milk, ham, cheese, and butter," Ed called back, closing the door. He reappeared, holding the eggs and pancake mix under one arm and the ham, cheese, and butter under the other, grinning like a maniac.

"I'm making an omelette and pancakes. Want some? Actually, I don't feel much like making pancakes," Ed frowned at the box and opened the fridge door, tossing the box back inside and closing it with his foot.

Roy carefully weighed his options. He could leave now and explore the island, looking for busty women, or he could sit here, staring at Ed as he cooked for him. The latter won out.

"An omelette sounds delicious," Roy gave an approving nod, sipping on his coffee once more.

"Alright. Ed turned on the stove and found a frying pan, setting it on the stovetop with a loud _clank_.

After ten minutes of staring at the same page, Roy looked up to find that Ed was transferring the humongous omelette onto a large plate. The blond turned the stove off and walked over to the table, holding the plate like a waiter would.

"Mind splitting this with me?" Ed asked, not really waiting for an answer as he grabbed two forks and two glasses, setting the things on the table.

"Not at all," said the Colonel, putting the paper down on the other end of the circular table.

"Coffee stunts your growth, you know," Ed frowned at Roy's cup as if it had offended him.

"Oh, so _that's _what happened to you," Roy smirked, earning a death glare from the smaller alchemist.

"Shut up," he grumbled, massaging his temple. Roy blinked. No angry rant? _Full Metal must not be fully awake yet_, he thought as he watched Ed pour them both some orange juice.

"You know what, Full Metal?"

Roy broke the silence with this question.

"What, Colonel?" Ed still glared at the older man.

"You would make _the_ perfect housewife," he stated simply.

Many shouts, yells, and exclamations of "I'll shove this spatula so far up your ass, Mustang!" and "come back here, you fucking FLAMING PONY!" could be heard miles away from the tiny cottage that morning.


	10. Chapter 9

After breakfast, Ed dumped the dirty dishes into the sink to be washed later and plopped down on the couch in the living room. A minute later, Roy emerged from the kitchen and sat across Ed on a vacant chair.

The two alchemists said nothing, instead preferring to delve into the deepest depths of their minds and stay there. Roy occasionally would glance at the blond alchemist sitting across from him, just to see what he was doing. Ed appeared to be thinking, so Roy let him be.

After about five minutes of silence, Roy rose from the chair and stretched, frowning when Ed didn't look up.

"Edward? I think I'm going to go sight-seeing. Would you like to join me?" He asked, politely. This caught Ed's attention.

"Uh...no thanks. I'll just stay here," he replied, bringing his legs up to rest on the couch.

"Come on, Full Metal. We're on vacation. Enjoy it while you can," Roy urged.

"I don't want to go out," Ed retorted in a sullen voice. The Colonel was concerned about the teen, so he walked over to him and sat down on the couch as well.

"What's bothering you, Edward?" He asked in a friendly voice, surprising both himself and his subordinate.

"I can't believe I had to come on this stupid vacation and leave Al all alone!" The blond buried his face in his hands and rubbed his eyes.

The Colonel couldn't think of anything comforting to say, so he said nothing, instead letting Ed vent on him. The teen rambled on and on until he was talking himself in circles.

"Look, Edward, I understand that you're not happy about leaving Alphonse back at Central - I'm not too happy about it either - but don't you think he would want you to have just a little bit of fun while you're here?" Roy asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes," Ed groaned, running a flesh hand through his messy golden hair.

"Then let's go," Roy stood, holding his left hand out so Ed could stand up and steady himself. When Ed touched his hand with his Auto-Mail, it was almost like a shock of electricity went through both of them. The younger alchemist stood and looked up at the Colonel with a blank look on his his eyes gave everything away. They were mere _inches_ apart, and they were still holding hands.

"Right then," Roy cleared his throat and dropped the blond's hand, "let's do some sight-seeing."

They walked out of the front door and sighed simultaneously. The scenery was beautiful. Even the cute old couples walking by on the sidewalk. Everything was picture-perfect.

"Where to, Colonel?" Ed asked, looking down the street.

"Hmm.... It's hot outside. How do you feel about going to the beach?" Roy replied, walking on the sidewalk.

After buying some much needed sunblock, sunglasses, swimming trunks, and flip-flops, the pair went back to their cottage and changed clothes. Roy walked back out wearing a tourist-y flower-covered shirt that was meant to be buttoned, but of course Roy had left it unbuttoned to show off his body. He was also wearing matching swimming trunks, and flip-flops. He looked like the picture-perfect tourist.

Ed came out wearing red swimming trunks and a plain, white t-shirt. In his Auto-Mail arm, he carried a cooler with cold drinks inside of it; on top of the cooler sat two towels - one navy blue and the other blood red.

"Ready, Ed?" Roy grinned, taking his sunglasses out of his breast pocket.

"Ready, C-- Roy," Ed grinned back, taking out his sunglasses as well.

"Let's rock this beach," they said in unison, slipping the sunglasses onto their faces at the same time.


	11. Chapter 10

"So what'd'you think of the scenery, Ed?" Roy asked, subtly checking-out the near-naked women roaming around the beach.

"Could be better," Ed shrugged, wishing for an escape route. Deciding to leave Roy's side, he sprinted ahead toward the water, smiling happily.

"Ed! Wait!" Roy shouted, running after him. Suddenly, Ed stopped in his tracks at the shoreline, turning around to throw Roy a questioning look, but Roy couldn't stop.

He ran _smack_ into Ed, accidentally tackling him to the ground. The blond yelled an "argh!" as he was pinned underneath his commanding officer. Despite his position, he laughed much to Roy's relief. The older alchemist smiled out of relief and chuckled quietly.

The waves quietly crept up behind the pair, soaking Ed's backside completely. The blond yelped and arched up, trying to escape the clutches of the cold water. Roy blushed when he felt Ed's body - every inch of it - press up against his. Eventually, Ed noticed what he had done and blushed, looking away pointedly.

"S-sorry," he stammered, squirming beneath his commanding officer.

"Uh...." Was all Roy could think of to say as he watched Ed lick his lips. He subconciously did the same.

Suddenly, Ed sat up, hooking his arms around Roy's neck. He brought Roy back down with him, crashing their lips together. In a moment, they lost all self control, kissing each other senselessly as they lay on the shoreline, falling victims to the chilly water. Ed rubbed Roy's back with his mismatched hands, clutching at the tensed muscles. The blond whimpered into the kiss, a sign that he needed to breathe.

They broke apart almost as quickly as they had joined together. Both alchemists stared at each other for a moment before they burst into laughter, standing up simultaneously. For seemingly no reason, they kept laughing; Ed rested his head on Roy's chest as he went into hysterics, cackling loudly. Roy's own deep laugh rumbled throughout his chest, causing Ed's head to bounce slightly. He wrapped his arms around the young alchemist and hugged him, smiling when the embrace was returned.

"We are so fucked up," Ed wiped a tear of mirth from the corner of his eye, gazing up at Roy.

"Yeah, well...yeah," Roy panted, chuckling a bit.

An awkward silence ensued, but neither alchemist wanted to break it. Of course, it was Ed who finally did.

"What'd'ya say to a bite to eat?" Ed asked, walking away from his commanding officer.

"I say hell yes," Roy replied, catching up to his surprised subordinate. He laughed and slung an arm around Ed's shoulders. It was his turn to be surprised when Ed hooked an arm around his lower back, pulling him closer. They walked down the beach like that, for once enjoying each other's company...cherishing it, even. Perhaps their relationship had finally taken a turn for the better.


	12. Chapter 11

Ed and Roy sat on bar stools at an outdoor burger bar as the sun set behind them. Blue waves calmly crept onto shore and over the sandy ground, only to recede back into the large body of water. Seagulls coasted the air overhead, no doubt waiting for some unfortunate customer to drop their burger or fries. The small burger stand was nearly empty as the day was almost over.

The blond alchemist sat on his stool - after some minor difficulties getting _onto_ said stool - smiling softly at his meal. He was thinking - wasn't he always? - about the kiss he and Roy had shared. It had been perfect. He had never expected to kiss his commanding officer. Even more surprising, he hadn't expected to actually _like_ it.

"What are you thinking about?" Roy's smooth, velvet voice didn't ruin the beach's calming atmosphere; if anything, his voice intensified it.

Ed snuck a quick glance at his commanding officer before smiling shyly and returning to his meal. He couldn't remember being more happy - unless he counted the days when his mother was still alive, breathing, and smiling.

Their feet dangled off of the bar stools, hovering above the sandy ground. Roy smirked at his subordinate; who knew Ed could be so bashful? Yes, he had seen the blond blush before, but this was brought everything to a whole new level.

"I didn't mean to kiss you," Ed broke the short silence and looked over at Roy. "I know that the kiss will only complicate our...relationship - work and personal - but I liked it."

As if confirming his statement, the younger alchemist nodded once and shoved a French fry into his mouth. His Auto-Mail fingers were greasy, but he paid it no attention, instead focusing on the rapidly disappearing meal in front of him. Suddenly, he felt a hand grab his own, flesh one underneath the confines of the bar. A calloused thumb swirled over the back of his hand, stroking it with tender sweeps.

"I've never allowed myself to keep the pleasure of dating one person and _staying _with that person. I always thought it would distract me from my overall goal," the black-haired man admitted, sending pools of heat into Ed's stomach with every swipe of his thumb.

"And...now?" Ed's raspy voice was hopeful - but not so much so that it was obvious. Working hard to overpower his heart, the blond's brain was spinning rapidly, listing all of the reasons why Roy would not want to begin a relationship with him.

The age difference.

The male factor.

The society's view.

The no-fraternization policy.

The fact that he was broken...and no one would ever want him....

"Under-wraps. Secretive. We'd have to keep it all a secret. We wouldn't be able to risk anyone finding out. I would tell the others at Central - you know, Hawkeye, Havoc, Breda, Fuery, and Falman - but if Fuhrer Bradley caught wind of this...I'm afraid he would go so far as to torture the information out of them. It's best if they don't know," Roy finished his meal and turned his darkened gaze to Ed, whose mouth was agape.

"You...really want this? Me?" Ed's heart fluttered as Roy nodded his head.

"I want you, Ed."

And Ed's heart was sold.


End file.
